Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

(Written September 8, 2:04am)

Erase you from my memory
Erase you from my past
Maybe it was all a mistake
Never meant to last
It pains me so much to say
I think it's better off this way
In different worlds, hours apart
You just weren't meant to have my heart
All those late nights on the phone
All the laughter, all the joy
I was nothing but your toy
Once was love, now is lost
I say goodbye at such a high cost

11:11 Make a Wish

(Written Septembet 6, 11:11pm)

You brighten my day
You give me a smile
Make myheart flutter
It feels so natural
With you in my arms
When i talk to you
I feel i can be true
Express who i am
Which i rarely do
Lexi i write this
Thinking of you

Over?

(Written september 6 11:01pm)

I act like it's fine
But that's it an acr
I really am bleeding
From the knife in my back
These tears are for you
And the pain i've been put through
My heart has been broken
And cut right in half
My love just thrown out
Like yesterday's trash
I guess it can't work
Five hours apart
I'll just find another
To keep safe my heart

Wounded

(Written september 4th)

I cut myself to feel the pain
Of never loving you again
You are my heart, you are my soul
Without you, i'm letting go
You're all that's good within my life
The words you typed cut like a knife
You were all the mattered all i need
You leave me wounded, here i bleed
It's almost time for my eternal rest
But one last question before i go
How could you hurt me, when i loved you so?

Why?

Does it have to be this way
Can't things just stay
Be like they were just yesterday
I don't know if i can live
Without you there
To tell me you love me
To brighten my day
You say we can still be friends
But i dont think i could stay just that
My feelings for you run to deep
I'd rather go into and eternal sleep
You are my life, my heart my blood
I can't let you go this easy
You like a drug i just can't give up
I hope we can look at this in new light
And we can be back together next night

True Feelings

Fake the smile
Hide the tears
It's what i've done
For all the years
Seem so happy
All the time
But you don't know
What's on my mind
Years of teasing
Few true friends
Hide my feelings
Time and again
With clever jokes
No one knows
Quite how i feel
But i think it's time
I let it out
Let someone know
Let someone in
Is it wroth the risk
Of being exposed
For the wrold to see
I dont know
I think i'll try
Let someone in
Will you be that one
My new best friend

..

My blood is flowing
mixed with tears
So much pain
So few years
My heart is broken
Beyond repair?
Sometimes i wonder
Does she really care
She says she does
It may be true
Yet she tears
My heart in two
She grabs it
With her words and hands
She makes it break
And kickstarts it again
I love her to death
But sometimes i feel
I have to let go
She continues to hurt
And maim my heart
Sometimes it feels
Like its gone
An empty hole
Where my heart belongs
But its there
Sitting in your hand
One more queeze
And i think...
I'm dead...

what is love?

what is love?
a word?
a primal instict?
a complex emotion?
or just advanced lust?
or is love just friendship deeper then the average like a super best friend who you can spill your heart out to, and spend your life with
it seems everywhere people are in love but it seems like so many times that love is just an escape route from somethign else and is just false words beign used and often will have one side ending in tears, look at all the people as you walk down the street chances are at one point in their lives if not 2 or 3 they were in what they thought was "love" was it? maybe, mayeb not, theres no way to tell if it was a real love or just a temporairy thing. they say that everyone finds that special someone only once. but what if you find that person but that person decides you arent the one for them. i dont know where this is going. but all i can say is dont let the bad times keep you down to long find youself a friend or 4, be true to them, yourself, and fuck anyone who doesnt liek who you are your you and that all that matters

heartbreak

take that knife and stab it deep
my heart will still be yours to keep
in the night i think of you
and all the pain you put me through
i fall asleep with you in mind
just wishign to see you one more time
my pulse is racing at your thought
just one night is all i want
but it seems that you dont care
you just slipped off his underwear
you then tell me you love me more
sometimes i find it hard to beleive
and i just want to shut off this damn machine
but the thought of forgetting you
is to much for me to do
i dont know why i love you
it just feels right yet wrong
i just wish you would stop
your hurting yourself and your friends
not just me this has to end
or else i think me and you
may have to stop before the night is through